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On Friday afternoon, Teri Leigh and I discussed what I’ll call an intro to mothering. I say this, because there are so many layers to the word and concept surrounding “motherhood” and “mothering.” Honestly, this has been an organic conversation that started after I posted the article, I didn’t think I wanted children. I ended up with five. Teri Leigh wrote a comment that said something to the effect of, “I wanted children, and I ended up with none.”
Offline, she and I opened up more about this contrast, and we realized there was so much to be said. I invited her to share a guest post about being a childless mother, which I published on Mother’s Day, not long ago.
Afterward, based on the plethora of comments she received from that essay, Teri Leigh and I decided to do a Live on this word—mother—and see where it took us. (My twelve-year-old daughter Sarah decided to join us and occasionally offered her input.)
We began by sharing about the idea that the womb is akin to a cave: dark, which can be both terrifying and liberating. To me, the womb is a sacred, holy body part. It is where new life is created and carried.
Both of us spoke about our own mothers. We shared about the ways we were mothered well and the ways we weren’t. We discussed the humanity of mothers and brushed against the reality that society places impossible standards upon the shoulders of mothers. (This is something I think we will delve into more deeply at a later time.)
Teri Leigh mentioned the phases of maiden, mother, and crone, and then I spoke about how crones are depicted in fairy tales and the ways this subconscious narrative influences us from a young age to believe that old age and elderhood mean women become invisible, washed up, and “of no use.”
As we closed the conversation, we both realized there is so much more to share, so we’ll be planning another Live sometime in the future to continue.
I’m curious about your thoughts on this topic. What are your experiences of motherhood or mothering, as a mother or from your mother? What do you want to hear more about as it pertains to this conversation?
Thank you for carving out forty-five minutes of your time to be with Teri Leigh and me and to listen to our stories. I mean it when I say I cherish each one of you. Your presence means so much to me.
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