Maybe some of us are meant to be butterflies, soaring through the air and embracing change. Others might find their purpose in building nests and creating a sense of home and community. Still, others might be content to simply crawl along the earth and find joy in the simple things.
The key, as you outline, is to listen to our own inner voice and follow our own path, even if it looks different from everyone else's...
Therapy is a wild ride. My therapist has done similar things with me. And I'm always simultaneously grateful, astounded that I can be seen and heard in such a way, and once in a while maybe a little offended (just for a bit).
Thank you for sharing this essay with me. I think I needed to see it today. 🩵
Therapy really is a wild ride, and I do believe we receive from it what we're willing to invest in it. Also, the degree of our openness to change is, to me, integral to the efficacy of the therapeutic process!
Thank you for sharing the story of Stripe and Yellow, two caterpillars I know well from my own experience of life. The story engenders extreme empathy in me for all of the other caterpillars in the tower as well because I, too, have gone back to the tower multiple times in my life, convinced that purely because of its height, there must be something there to see. I wonder how we dismantle the tower or at least its draw, or is the tower necessary in order for us to see the contrast when we go inside? So much to unpack from this! I'll be noodling on caterpillars all day!
Ooh, I love how you wrote, "I wonder how we dismantle the tower," Jess. I think you hit something vital there. The tower, I realize after reading your comment, can symbolize the systems and institutions that keep us small and contained. I, too, have returned to the towers in my own life when I am tempted to believe that someone else has the answer for my life and that by following trends or best practices, maybe I'll become somebody else - someone more accepted and less lonely.
Yes! Absolutely! The tower always has the allure of being the way we succeed, the way we matter, the way we belong. It IS lonely when you choose to turn away from the tower. I don't know how to make it less so, but I feel a strong pull to understand the tower climbers and to make the tower less appealing.
I have felt lonely most of my life, Jess, so you're not alone in that. Sometimes I think the authentic becoming of oneself is truly a solitary path, in which we may often be misunderstood or overlooked because we choose to do what is best for us, rather than following conventions.
Your story about Hope for the Flowers and the journey it inspired reminds me of my own path—not one of striving or becoming something "greater," but of surrendering and returning to my true self.
For me, transformation hasn’t been about transcending who I am but about subscending—letting go of the external pressures and expectations that once defined my sense of worth.
It’s been about rediscovering the layers of my authentic self that were always there, waiting to be reclaimed.
Your insight that growth happens in the darkness resonates deeply.
The chrysalis isn’t a place of emptiness but a space where we’re held as we prepare to emerge as our true selves. This process requires trust, patience, and courage—a willingness to sit in stillness and let the transformation unfold without forcing or rushing it.
The story of Yellow choosing her own path is a beautiful reminder that the answers we seek often don’t come from following the crowd or climbing higher but from turning inward and honoring our integrity.
Thank you for sharing this powerful reflection—it’s a reminder that growth is not about bettering ourselves but about fully embracing who we already are.
Lovely read and that book sounds wonderful. It's always gratifying to be impacted by any book - especially when you aren't expecting it to be so meaningful. As adults, sometimes we think we're above learning from a children's book when often the greatest lessons are tucked inside them.
This book was one of the books that influenced my growth when I received it as a birthday gift back in the mid 70s, when I was in my early 20s. Looking back I am so grateful and seeing you share it here runs deep for me! Thank you!
Jeannie, this is such a wonderful post! I hadn't read that story, but it contains life lessons that are targeted toward anyone -- adult or child.
I love the way you related this to your own life of wanting to continue having integrity.
Counseling is so necessary for some people (I see a psychotherapist myself), but it does take a lot of personal work. It's impossible to expect oneself to feel better immediately after a session; much of the introspection is done outside of the session.
This was so beautiful Jeannie! What a great lesson to learn through a story. Yes, we can only walk our own path, but it’s too tempting to be distracted, and influenced by group-think. I also have an idea for your “submission”. I’ll write to you after the holidays. In the meanwhile, big hug to you precious butterfly. 🦋
I am so struck by this essay.
Maybe some of us are meant to be butterflies, soaring through the air and embracing change. Others might find their purpose in building nests and creating a sense of home and community. Still, others might be content to simply crawl along the earth and find joy in the simple things.
The key, as you outline, is to listen to our own inner voice and follow our own path, even if it looks different from everyone else's...
Therapy is a wild ride. My therapist has done similar things with me. And I'm always simultaneously grateful, astounded that I can be seen and heard in such a way, and once in a while maybe a little offended (just for a bit).
Thank you for sharing this essay with me. I think I needed to see it today. 🩵
Therapy really is a wild ride, and I do believe we receive from it what we're willing to invest in it. Also, the degree of our openness to change is, to me, integral to the efficacy of the therapeutic process!
Thank you for sharing the story of Stripe and Yellow, two caterpillars I know well from my own experience of life. The story engenders extreme empathy in me for all of the other caterpillars in the tower as well because I, too, have gone back to the tower multiple times in my life, convinced that purely because of its height, there must be something there to see. I wonder how we dismantle the tower or at least its draw, or is the tower necessary in order for us to see the contrast when we go inside? So much to unpack from this! I'll be noodling on caterpillars all day!
Ooh, I love how you wrote, "I wonder how we dismantle the tower," Jess. I think you hit something vital there. The tower, I realize after reading your comment, can symbolize the systems and institutions that keep us small and contained. I, too, have returned to the towers in my own life when I am tempted to believe that someone else has the answer for my life and that by following trends or best practices, maybe I'll become somebody else - someone more accepted and less lonely.
Yes! Absolutely! The tower always has the allure of being the way we succeed, the way we matter, the way we belong. It IS lonely when you choose to turn away from the tower. I don't know how to make it less so, but I feel a strong pull to understand the tower climbers and to make the tower less appealing.
I have felt lonely most of my life, Jess, so you're not alone in that. Sometimes I think the authentic becoming of oneself is truly a solitary path, in which we may often be misunderstood or overlooked because we choose to do what is best for us, rather than following conventions.
Jeannie, thank you for this heartfelt reflection.
Your story about Hope for the Flowers and the journey it inspired reminds me of my own path—not one of striving or becoming something "greater," but of surrendering and returning to my true self.
For me, transformation hasn’t been about transcending who I am but about subscending—letting go of the external pressures and expectations that once defined my sense of worth.
It’s been about rediscovering the layers of my authentic self that were always there, waiting to be reclaimed.
Your insight that growth happens in the darkness resonates deeply.
The chrysalis isn’t a place of emptiness but a space where we’re held as we prepare to emerge as our true selves. This process requires trust, patience, and courage—a willingness to sit in stillness and let the transformation unfold without forcing or rushing it.
The story of Yellow choosing her own path is a beautiful reminder that the answers we seek often don’t come from following the crowd or climbing higher but from turning inward and honoring our integrity.
Thank you for sharing this powerful reflection—it’s a reminder that growth is not about bettering ourselves but about fully embracing who we already are.
I really appreciate your perspective and I left a longer comment on your restack. Thank you!
Such a beautiful story! It sounds like a book I should share with my high schoolers!
You totally should, Nina!
Hi Jeannie,
Lovely read and that book sounds wonderful. It's always gratifying to be impacted by any book - especially when you aren't expecting it to be so meaningful. As adults, sometimes we think we're above learning from a children's book when often the greatest lessons are tucked inside them.
But what I love most is your poem! So good.
Happy new year. May 2025 be kind to us all.
Thank you so much, Nancy. I think you're right: we can often be moved by things we least expect. That's the power of an open heart.
That's a lovely parable. I will have to see if my library has a copy of the book.
It really is a classic, a timeless tale, Stuart!
A lovely reflection on what it means to grow, Jeannie. Thank you for sharing this.
So grateful to see your comment today, Tiffany. Glad it resonates with you.
This book was one of the books that influenced my growth when I received it as a birthday gift back in the mid 70s, when I was in my early 20s. Looking back I am so grateful and seeing you share it here runs deep for me! Thank you!
Wonderful, CathyAnn! I would love to hear more about its impact in your life.
I love how you have your own picture of a butterfly to go with your writing :) Beautiful words
Thank you kindly, Jenna!
Jeannie, this is such a wonderful post! I hadn't read that story, but it contains life lessons that are targeted toward anyone -- adult or child.
I love the way you related this to your own life of wanting to continue having integrity.
Counseling is so necessary for some people (I see a psychotherapist myself), but it does take a lot of personal work. It's impossible to expect oneself to feel better immediately after a session; much of the introspection is done outside of the session.
Thank you for writing this insightful post.
This was so beautiful Jeannie! What a great lesson to learn through a story. Yes, we can only walk our own path, but it’s too tempting to be distracted, and influenced by group-think. I also have an idea for your “submission”. I’ll write to you after the holidays. In the meanwhile, big hug to you precious butterfly. 🦋