I'm sure it's overwhelming to attend events like that (I was stressed just reading about all the commotion) but what a gift - to be surrounded by families who get it. I hope S (and you) made lasting connections.
Ahhh another person who “gets it” the gift of being around others who understand without all of the explanations. Julie and Jeannie, I totally get this concept. It is a wonderful feeling not having to hide your emotions or reactions to things and feeling a real part of the whole, not the sixth wheel of a four wheel vehicle ( when even the fifth wheel belongs because they have a connection ie the spare tire).
I go to an annual seminar for military survivors. ( a grief convention) No body cares ( or rather they do care and check on you) if you start crying in the middle of dinner or in the middle of a session. There is an instant connection with others, ( a close family member or friend was a Veteran who died) the military and death. It breaks down conventional barriers you see the “real” of the people you meet. There is a huge comfort in that knowing you don’t have to worry or hide.
I'm so glad to hear you have that community, Lisa. It's so important, especially for our military veterans. I felt most relieved to be around other, craniofacial families because I didn't have to explain anything. They just knew.
It's a 'disease' of the modern world ,the so -called 'normal' ones who have to follow the crowd like lost sheep without a shepherd .
If they could learn to become master of themselves and think for themselves and have the courage and autonomy to really SEE those with differences for what they really are ,instead of being consumed with hate and resentment -THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE .
CELEBRATING the differences disempowers this ignorance and raises the 'different ' ones .
I know because it's how I survive EVERY DAY ,with and for MY SON .
Thank you for this perspective, K! We do need to have the courage to see ourselves honestly and acknowledge that differences are gifts we each bring to the table. I appreciate your reminder for us to do that.
I relate to this in a different way. As a recovering alcoholic, we talk about how we are different, bodily and mentally, than normal drinkers or people. We call the people outside of the rooms "normies." It's always refreshing to go to a conference and immediately feel a connection with other people like me. The walls and filters of our egos are down while at the conference. We joke about how when we meeting someone, we already know they're bat shit crazy. Haha. No walls, mask or pretense needed. It's kind of cool, though, sometimes as we meet others for the first time, we hug rather than just a handshake. I think that one reason I identify with Sarah is a lifetime of not feeling "a part of" even though I was. Within, I didn't feel it. Now, I can go to a meeting and say, "ah, yes, my people. I love it." Thanks for sharing. And, Ben's wine story. I love it. I would have done the same thing. Although, I probably would not have been a brave. I'd have gotten a glass from the bar and filled it. Haha. Although, as I think about it, these days, I wouldn't would give a shit. I'm ok with me. Emotional and spiritual growth can do that for a fella. I'm grateful.
I love what you added to this conversation, Eddie, because you're right - there are particular ways we know we aren't like others, or "normies," as you wrote. ☺️
At the same time, we really do belong to each other, despite these ways we know others do not understand us. My younger brother is a recovering alcoholic, and he doesn't mind me sharing that, because he is very open about his recovery. For many years, we did not connect because I couldn't understand this part of his life and struggle.
It's very similar in raising a child like Sarah who has special needs. Other "normal" families ("normies") will never know what it's like to forgo soccer games and ballet lessons because of the myriad medical appointments that drain our family of time, money, and energy.
So it's quite lovely that we can share our journeys with each other and know they belong to us alone, yet we are still walking with each other, too. ❤️
I'm sure it's overwhelming to attend events like that (I was stressed just reading about all the commotion) but what a gift - to be surrounded by families who get it. I hope S (and you) made lasting connections.
Thanks, Julie. I'm grateful you get it. Yes, we've built some friendships from our craniofacial community.
Ahhh another person who “gets it” the gift of being around others who understand without all of the explanations. Julie and Jeannie, I totally get this concept. It is a wonderful feeling not having to hide your emotions or reactions to things and feeling a real part of the whole, not the sixth wheel of a four wheel vehicle ( when even the fifth wheel belongs because they have a connection ie the spare tire).
I go to an annual seminar for military survivors. ( a grief convention) No body cares ( or rather they do care and check on you) if you start crying in the middle of dinner or in the middle of a session. There is an instant connection with others, ( a close family member or friend was a Veteran who died) the military and death. It breaks down conventional barriers you see the “real” of the people you meet. There is a huge comfort in that knowing you don’t have to worry or hide.
I'm so glad to hear you have that community, Lisa. It's so important, especially for our military veterans. I felt most relieved to be around other, craniofacial families because I didn't have to explain anything. They just knew.
It's a 'disease' of the modern world ,the so -called 'normal' ones who have to follow the crowd like lost sheep without a shepherd .
If they could learn to become master of themselves and think for themselves and have the courage and autonomy to really SEE those with differences for what they really are ,instead of being consumed with hate and resentment -THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE .
CELEBRATING the differences disempowers this ignorance and raises the 'different ' ones .
I know because it's how I survive EVERY DAY ,with and for MY SON .
Thank you for this perspective, K! We do need to have the courage to see ourselves honestly and acknowledge that differences are gifts we each bring to the table. I appreciate your reminder for us to do that.
You're welcome .
I do know and understand the joy my son gets when he is accepted (he isn't usually ) but he loves to belong and I get that .
It's just me ,I guess ,as a mother trying to make people change their outlook 🤗All the best with everything
I relate to this in a different way. As a recovering alcoholic, we talk about how we are different, bodily and mentally, than normal drinkers or people. We call the people outside of the rooms "normies." It's always refreshing to go to a conference and immediately feel a connection with other people like me. The walls and filters of our egos are down while at the conference. We joke about how when we meeting someone, we already know they're bat shit crazy. Haha. No walls, mask or pretense needed. It's kind of cool, though, sometimes as we meet others for the first time, we hug rather than just a handshake. I think that one reason I identify with Sarah is a lifetime of not feeling "a part of" even though I was. Within, I didn't feel it. Now, I can go to a meeting and say, "ah, yes, my people. I love it." Thanks for sharing. And, Ben's wine story. I love it. I would have done the same thing. Although, I probably would not have been a brave. I'd have gotten a glass from the bar and filled it. Haha. Although, as I think about it, these days, I wouldn't would give a shit. I'm ok with me. Emotional and spiritual growth can do that for a fella. I'm grateful.
I love what you added to this conversation, Eddie, because you're right - there are particular ways we know we aren't like others, or "normies," as you wrote. ☺️
At the same time, we really do belong to each other, despite these ways we know others do not understand us. My younger brother is a recovering alcoholic, and he doesn't mind me sharing that, because he is very open about his recovery. For many years, we did not connect because I couldn't understand this part of his life and struggle.
It's very similar in raising a child like Sarah who has special needs. Other "normal" families ("normies") will never know what it's like to forgo soccer games and ballet lessons because of the myriad medical appointments that drain our family of time, money, and energy.
So it's quite lovely that we can share our journeys with each other and know they belong to us alone, yet we are still walking with each other, too. ❤️
Yes, totally agree. We’re all humans leaning to love, but perhaps we have different color hair. But we’re all the same. We’re ONE.
I love how you wrote, “Perhaps we have different color hair.” That made me smile, Eddie! :)