My daughter needed Sarah's courage today. She took a fall over the weekend and has road rash on her eye and chin. Given her father's facial trauma following his motorcycle accident, this is significant for her, and it was difficult for her to go to school today. Her wounds will heal, but that feeling of being different, other, stared at, judged, I don't think that leaves us. It is one of the reasons I am so drawn to Sarah's vulnerable honesty about her own face, and how her perception of her own beauty starts with kindness to herself. Now, there is something to learn.
Oh wow, Jess, I hear you. That makes total sense why your daughter would feel traumatized by what happened to her face over the weekend. 100%. I’m so relieved to hear she is okay physically, and I also know how hard it is to be a kid and endure the stares and comments from your peers, no matter the reason, including an accident. It really feels humbling to know that our stories reach people at the exact moment they need it, and I’m heartened to hear that your daughter found her courage in hearing about Sarah’s story today. Thank you for telling me that, Jess. So so much.
I see it as the Universe’s way of reminding me that we are not alone, especially when the struggles that feel big to us may seem trivial to others. Thank you and Sarah for being our life line today. 🧡
Sarah is changing the world with her wisdom and kindness. Thank you Sarah!!!!! Adolescence was harrowing for me because of our culture's obsession with homogonous beauty. Imagine a world where we could embrace all of the different kinds of stunning beauty that exist, much like Mama Earth does. Sarah, we need you! We love you!
Aw, thank you so much for saying that, Stephanie! I agree—she is changing the world. My hope is that, as she grows up, she will find her way in speaking about beauty culture. We can all learn so much from her.
I loved this motto of the craniofacial organization you mentioned: “Beyond the face is a heart.” Sarah has such a beautiful heart. It would be hard knowing future surgeries would be necessary, and it's understandable to be scared. Appreciate you, Sarah, and Jeannie!
Sarah is lovely. Of course, many could take her advice. Maybe I should drop the handsome standard/comparison thing and take up happiness. What do you think Sarah? You win the beauty contest. I love your smile.
Even us guys can get a little disappointed in our looks as we age. ❤️
Aw, thanks for sharing this so vulnerably, Bill. It’s good to hear stories from men about how they feel about themselves. I think the conversations surrounding how we feel about aging is important, and it affects all of us as we get older. I am middle age, and I noticed a HUGE shift in the way I viewed myself once I hit forty. Literally. I saw my gray hair, wrinkles forming, and I panicked. I thought, “How can I be getting older already?!” It was like, I felt like the sand was running quickly through the hourglass.
Anyway, I welcome hearing more if you want to share. And thank you for saying, “Sarah, you win the beauty contest!”
After I once more became single years ago I was so aware of my looks. After all I want love, too. Looking in the mirror at mid 60's I thought there's no way I could compete with the younger men that I felt potential mates my age were looking for. It turned out I was more right about that part than I realized. But anyway I am in my mid seventies now and not often lonely. Primarily, women that date me are 5-10 years younger and not looking for anything long term.
So I reconciled the looks thing to be a matter of perspective and at my age not as important as simply being myself, more curious, active and romantic than the younger men. And as far as the women go they are beautiful in a magical way, wrinkles, sagging skin and all. It's their aura, the happiness they show, their own curiosity and vitality. Their own desires. Just beautiful.
And, btw, I checked out your profile photo and find you to be quite a beautiful young woman. Just saying. I would hope you're not disappointed. At all!
Thanks, Bill. The profile photo is actually mine, not Sarah’s. :) I’m her mom, the one who runs the Substack.
I am touched by what you shared and want you to know that. More men are opening up in this space, and it is heartening to bear witness to their vulnerability. Yours is so tender, about how you have perceived yourself via your looks and also how you are learning to simply be who you are. There is much wisdom in what you said about being more active and romantic than you once were when you were younger.
As a woman in my mid-forties, I am beginning to understand what it means to become wise as we age. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here.
it took me 50 decades, but I finally like the way I look. everything about me. I didn't realize how beautiful I am...and was actually quite naive about it when I was in my 20s and cursing that I was getting harassed in bars by men. sigh.
I too have a different view of plastic surgery. I used to think it was vain. but then I had a client teach me that when she changed her body, and did a session with me, other big things about her changed as well. She had lipsuction from her hips...essentially having her "saddle bags" removed. and in a healing session with me to promote the healing process after the surgery, every single secret of her life came out. She told me things she had never told anyone...and I said to her...well...those saddle bags sure held a lot that you don't need to hold anymore. She said she left that session feeling lighter in so many ways. that's the day I realized that surgeries bring major healing aspects to them that go way beyond the physical.
I appreciate that story, Teri Leigh. I told Sarah that she’s had plastic surgery, and she was shocked. I think for now it’s all because of her face—she’s trying to understand why people react to her the way they do, and she notices how our culture upholds women who look a certain way as “beautiful.”
Obviously the discussion surrounding plastic surgery is more nuanced than this. I think as she gets older, she will start to see this more clearly. Maybe. But she is also autistic and everything is definitive for her, fitting into containers. The abstract is difficult to comprehend.
It is amazing what can happen when we literally let go of what we are holding onto, like your client did with her saddlebags! I admit that if I had the money, I would love to get a tummy tuck, because after having five kids and even after losing a lot of weight about four years ago, I have a belly. But what I’ve had to do is accept that this is my body. I can still appreciate my body as it is without altering it.
Plastic surgery is one of those personal decisions. I think it CAN play into someone’s pathology (like if they have body dysmorphic disorder) or vanity, but it can also truly help a person heal and increase their self-esteem.
Sarah is a star- bright shining star. And likely life as an adult will be far easier, far more carefree than life as a preteen adolescent where judgement among and from peers is downright unfair.
That’s where Sarah can use her super power skills to get through the rough road!
Sarah’s words are simple, beautiful, and powerful. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt reflection—her perspective is a needed reminder of how deeply self-acceptance matters. This moved me.
Hi Sarah and Jeannie, I just love it when you make a video together and give us these wise and wonderful messages. I wish everyone liked the way they looked too, me included. Thank you for inspiring all of us to accept ourselves and others, just the way we are. I love you both tons! And yes, you are so beautiful, both of you! Sarah you are a princess and that makes Jeannie the Queen!
Reading this and watching the video warmed my heart. Sarah, you are so wise. Just like your mother! I can't honestly say I like how I look. I don't. I like parts of me. Sometimes, that has to be enough. I do appreciate what my entire body still does, though. As we age, function trumps looks. But it'd sure be nice to have both.
Self-acceptance regarding our looks is something most of us work on our whole lives. A forever-evolving learning experiment.
Thank you for the video, Sarah. I have had a lot of surgeries, too, and every one was scary. Feeling scared is normal, but we can do scary things. And, I love the pink dress.
That is so wise, Nancy, an astute observation: that acceptance of ourselves is a lifelong endeavor. I agree. For Sarah, everything exists in either/or. Her ability to form that abstract thinking is still evolving, and I feel that your insight today really contributes to the texture surrounding this conversation. Thank you so much.
Thank you Sarah and Jeannie for reminding us to be happy with who we are, inside and outside. And Joey was right, you look exactly like a princess! Seeing and hearing from you always brightens my day! ❤️
My daughter needed Sarah's courage today. She took a fall over the weekend and has road rash on her eye and chin. Given her father's facial trauma following his motorcycle accident, this is significant for her, and it was difficult for her to go to school today. Her wounds will heal, but that feeling of being different, other, stared at, judged, I don't think that leaves us. It is one of the reasons I am so drawn to Sarah's vulnerable honesty about her own face, and how her perception of her own beauty starts with kindness to herself. Now, there is something to learn.
Oh wow, Jess, I hear you. That makes total sense why your daughter would feel traumatized by what happened to her face over the weekend. 100%. I’m so relieved to hear she is okay physically, and I also know how hard it is to be a kid and endure the stares and comments from your peers, no matter the reason, including an accident. It really feels humbling to know that our stories reach people at the exact moment they need it, and I’m heartened to hear that your daughter found her courage in hearing about Sarah’s story today. Thank you for telling me that, Jess. So so much.
I see it as the Universe’s way of reminding me that we are not alone, especially when the struggles that feel big to us may seem trivial to others. Thank you and Sarah for being our life line today. 🧡
Totally agree, Jess. Love is all around us, if only we would notice. :)
Sarah is changing the world with her wisdom and kindness. Thank you Sarah!!!!! Adolescence was harrowing for me because of our culture's obsession with homogonous beauty. Imagine a world where we could embrace all of the different kinds of stunning beauty that exist, much like Mama Earth does. Sarah, we need you! We love you!
Aw, thank you so much for saying that, Stephanie! I agree—she is changing the world. My hope is that, as she grows up, she will find her way in speaking about beauty culture. We can all learn so much from her.
I loved this motto of the craniofacial organization you mentioned: “Beyond the face is a heart.” Sarah has such a beautiful heart. It would be hard knowing future surgeries would be necessary, and it's understandable to be scared. Appreciate you, Sarah, and Jeannie!
I know, isn’t that a great motto, Sue? It’s a fantastic organization, too. Such a supportive resource. We are grateful for them.
So glad!
Sarah is lovely. Of course, many could take her advice. Maybe I should drop the handsome standard/comparison thing and take up happiness. What do you think Sarah? You win the beauty contest. I love your smile.
Even us guys can get a little disappointed in our looks as we age. ❤️
Aw, thanks for sharing this so vulnerably, Bill. It’s good to hear stories from men about how they feel about themselves. I think the conversations surrounding how we feel about aging is important, and it affects all of us as we get older. I am middle age, and I noticed a HUGE shift in the way I viewed myself once I hit forty. Literally. I saw my gray hair, wrinkles forming, and I panicked. I thought, “How can I be getting older already?!” It was like, I felt like the sand was running quickly through the hourglass.
Anyway, I welcome hearing more if you want to share. And thank you for saying, “Sarah, you win the beauty contest!”
I wish I had Sarah's wisdom. She inspires me not to be so critical of myself.
I’m glad to hear this, Doreen, and I can totally see why. Sarah helps me think more deeply about myself, too, and the way I view myself and others.
Well, she is lovely.
After I once more became single years ago I was so aware of my looks. After all I want love, too. Looking in the mirror at mid 60's I thought there's no way I could compete with the younger men that I felt potential mates my age were looking for. It turned out I was more right about that part than I realized. But anyway I am in my mid seventies now and not often lonely. Primarily, women that date me are 5-10 years younger and not looking for anything long term.
So I reconciled the looks thing to be a matter of perspective and at my age not as important as simply being myself, more curious, active and romantic than the younger men. And as far as the women go they are beautiful in a magical way, wrinkles, sagging skin and all. It's their aura, the happiness they show, their own curiosity and vitality. Their own desires. Just beautiful.
And, btw, I checked out your profile photo and find you to be quite a beautiful young woman. Just saying. I would hope you're not disappointed. At all!
Thanks, Bill. The profile photo is actually mine, not Sarah’s. :) I’m her mom, the one who runs the Substack.
I am touched by what you shared and want you to know that. More men are opening up in this space, and it is heartening to bear witness to their vulnerability. Yours is so tender, about how you have perceived yourself via your looks and also how you are learning to simply be who you are. There is much wisdom in what you said about being more active and romantic than you once were when you were younger.
As a woman in my mid-forties, I am beginning to understand what it means to become wise as we age. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here.
Got it! Thanks for the clarification. 😊
I didn't realize older women generally look for younger men to date. I wonder why that is?
I should clarify, Single granmas, of course.
I LOVE Sarah’s birthday photo. It’s stunning! You must be so proud of her and her wisdom and attitude. She’s a gem.
Why, thank you, Charleen! She really exuded confidence in that photo, didn’t she? :)
it took me 50 decades, but I finally like the way I look. everything about me. I didn't realize how beautiful I am...and was actually quite naive about it when I was in my 20s and cursing that I was getting harassed in bars by men. sigh.
I too have a different view of plastic surgery. I used to think it was vain. but then I had a client teach me that when she changed her body, and did a session with me, other big things about her changed as well. She had lipsuction from her hips...essentially having her "saddle bags" removed. and in a healing session with me to promote the healing process after the surgery, every single secret of her life came out. She told me things she had never told anyone...and I said to her...well...those saddle bags sure held a lot that you don't need to hold anymore. She said she left that session feeling lighter in so many ways. that's the day I realized that surgeries bring major healing aspects to them that go way beyond the physical.
I appreciate that story, Teri Leigh. I told Sarah that she’s had plastic surgery, and she was shocked. I think for now it’s all because of her face—she’s trying to understand why people react to her the way they do, and she notices how our culture upholds women who look a certain way as “beautiful.”
Obviously the discussion surrounding plastic surgery is more nuanced than this. I think as she gets older, she will start to see this more clearly. Maybe. But she is also autistic and everything is definitive for her, fitting into containers. The abstract is difficult to comprehend.
It is amazing what can happen when we literally let go of what we are holding onto, like your client did with her saddlebags! I admit that if I had the money, I would love to get a tummy tuck, because after having five kids and even after losing a lot of weight about four years ago, I have a belly. But what I’ve had to do is accept that this is my body. I can still appreciate my body as it is without altering it.
Plastic surgery is one of those personal decisions. I think it CAN play into someone’s pathology (like if they have body dysmorphic disorder) or vanity, but it can also truly help a person heal and increase their self-esteem.
@Jane Fonda Climate PAC
Please see sweet Sarah and read her message.
Thanks, Connie, for sharing this!
Sarah is a star- bright shining star. And likely life as an adult will be far easier, far more carefree than life as a preteen adolescent where judgement among and from peers is downright unfair.
That’s where Sarah can use her super power skills to get through the rough road!
She’s pretty in pink!!
That’s so kind of you to say, Kathyrn! Thank you.
Sorry, but that it's not what I am looking for. I am only looking for talking sometimes.
I think Sarah will be glad to have such wonderfull mother like you! By the way,on the picture she looks very nice.
Kind regards
Rena
Thanks, Rena!
Sarah’s words are simple, beautiful, and powerful. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt reflection—her perspective is a needed reminder of how deeply self-acceptance matters. This moved me.
I am so grateful it touched your heart, Anton!
Hi Sarah and Jeannie, I just love it when you make a video together and give us these wise and wonderful messages. I wish everyone liked the way they looked too, me included. Thank you for inspiring all of us to accept ourselves and others, just the way we are. I love you both tons! And yes, you are so beautiful, both of you! Sarah you are a princess and that makes Jeannie the Queen!
We love you, Michele! :)
Sarah you are a beautiful young lady - gifted with wonderful heart. I don’t look at your appearance - I see into your heart.
That’s beautiful and means a lot, Michael. Thank you.
Hi Jeannie and Sarah,
Reading this and watching the video warmed my heart. Sarah, you are so wise. Just like your mother! I can't honestly say I like how I look. I don't. I like parts of me. Sometimes, that has to be enough. I do appreciate what my entire body still does, though. As we age, function trumps looks. But it'd sure be nice to have both.
Self-acceptance regarding our looks is something most of us work on our whole lives. A forever-evolving learning experiment.
Thank you for the video, Sarah. I have had a lot of surgeries, too, and every one was scary. Feeling scared is normal, but we can do scary things. And, I love the pink dress.
That is so wise, Nancy, an astute observation: that acceptance of ourselves is a lifelong endeavor. I agree. For Sarah, everything exists in either/or. Her ability to form that abstract thinking is still evolving, and I feel that your insight today really contributes to the texture surrounding this conversation. Thank you so much.
Thank you Sarah and Jeannie for reminding us to be happy with who we are, inside and outside. And Joey was right, you look exactly like a princess! Seeing and hearing from you always brightens my day! ❤️
Thanks so much, Nancy. I always look forward to reading your comments!