Breeann, I love this essay, as well as the plant metaphor. You are such a wonderful writer and story teller. I enjoyed the entire essay, but this part stood out for me:
"I remember each plant grows in its own time. Destroying one plant doesn’t make another grow. Nor does being destroyed mean you can’t try and grow again. Therefore, when I am my grittiest, most determined, and best self, I pick up my cup of water and pour it on my own plant. I do not measure it or compare it to anything else."
I have also gotten to the point where I only compare myself to myself. It's sometimes tempting to look at what other writers and artists are doing, but no one is better than anyone else. That's why we need to nurture ourselves and focus on ourselves.
I will check out your Substack soon. I adopted my daughter from China when she was 13 months old, so I totally understand the adoption side of things.
Sounds to me that when you are at your “Grittiest” it is when you are feeling most “Grateful” for the simple things around you. (Sunlight etcetera)
Gratitude is a wonderful energizer and joy producer which in turn produces more energy. 🔋 😃
As for comparisons, we are all unique so there is not much point in comparing. There is always going to be someone better than we are at whatever we endeavor to do. Thankfully God sees us as individuals and never compares us with others. (Sigh)!
And, He offers us this kindly counsel at Galatians 6:4 . “But let each one examine his own actions, and then he will have cause for rejoicing in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person.”
"These scissors are life’s endless mundanities of paying bills, cleaning a house that never quite gets clean, and figuring out what the hell to make for dinner for all these people, again." Gosh, do I feel this. Thank you so much for writing and sharing. Some days it really does beg the questions: What is the point of all of this? Why are we really here?" I know enough now to know that there is magic in the mundane, that even when I feel Jane approaching with her scissors, I just need to give her a hug. Because I do feel so lucky to be here, even if I'm the smallest sprout.
I love seeing how Breeann’s story resonated with you in this specific way, Maria. Thanks for affirming the power of her words here in this comment space.
Thanks so much, Maria. Some days it’s a fight to see the magic underneath the rat race. Yes, Jane needs a hug - I love that imagery! Thanks for your beautiful insights!
I love the creativity here in the way you used Melissa & Jane’s story as a metaphor for these feelings. I think I’ve been feeling a bit like Jane lately, although not really wanting to cut anyone down ☺️
Thank you, Pam! Right, that totally makes sense. I think often I may cut someone down not necessarily outwardly with my words or actions, but with my thoughts towards them or something in their life. I’ve gotten much less likely to be Jane as I get older (thank God for that mercy of aging), but it still crops up from time to time. Thanks for commenting that the post resonated with you. 🫶🏻
This is beautifully written, Breeann! Thank you for your honesty and various reflection points that we can connect to! This simple sentence, "But then I take a deep breath." sounds simple but rarely is. But indeed, it is a great reminder to carry on and forward! Thank you Breeann and Jeannie! 💖
Nancy, thank you so much for reading and commenting! Oh my gosh, I don’t even think *I’ve* internalized that sentence as much as I want to! I’m glad you noticed that sentence. That’s so true it is never as simple as it seems. It is exactly what we all need though. 💜
Right now, I am like Jane. I act out in ways because of my own insecurities. Right now, I want to do things that would help me not feel the pain. Yet, right now, I feel the pain and I must bear it so I can understand it, my responses and my fears. I don’t want to cover it over. No I want to be know my pain and how it is in relationship to God. I desire comfort, yet I also desire to embrace my pain, to comfort it.
M Simeon, thank you so much for reading and commenting! This is, like Jeannie said, almost a prayer of sorts. We are all sometimes Jane. We are complex. Thanks for sharing your deep truth. 💜
What a beautiful offering here, M. As I read, it occurred to me that what you shared here is, in itself, a prayer. Thank you for using this space as a sacred place for you to bare your soul.
"Therefore, when I am my grittiest, most determined, and best self, I pick up my cup of water and pour it on my own plant. I do not measure it or compare it to anything else. I simply watch the sunlight stream in, and wait for my own beautiful plant to grow strong again, just like I believe it can." Love this Breean. And the understanding that jealousy, and cutting down others doesnt make our own "plant" grow stronger.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Melanie! So true, yet we are all sometimes acting as Jane and hoping it will make us feel better. But really, it’s the focus on our own plants’ growth that make us feel strong and worthy. Thank you for your insight! 🫶🏻
Breeann, I love this essay, as well as the plant metaphor. You are such a wonderful writer and story teller. I enjoyed the entire essay, but this part stood out for me:
"I remember each plant grows in its own time. Destroying one plant doesn’t make another grow. Nor does being destroyed mean you can’t try and grow again. Therefore, when I am my grittiest, most determined, and best self, I pick up my cup of water and pour it on my own plant. I do not measure it or compare it to anything else."
I have also gotten to the point where I only compare myself to myself. It's sometimes tempting to look at what other writers and artists are doing, but no one is better than anyone else. That's why we need to nurture ourselves and focus on ourselves.
I will check out your Substack soon. I adopted my daughter from China when she was 13 months old, so I totally understand the adoption side of things.
Thank you for this wonderful essay.
Beth, thank you so much for this encouraging and genuine comment! It lifted my heart when I read it.
You’re so right that we need to nurture ourselves and focus on our own projects. I’m striving to do that more.
Oh, I love to hear from other adoptive parents! It’s a unique parenting road to travel, and it’s always a comfort to meet fellow travelers.
Thanks again for reading and bringing love and light to the comments. 🩷
Well, Beth, this was a timely comment! I am glad you wrote this. What an affirmation of Breeann and her writing.
Sounds to me that when you are at your “Grittiest” it is when you are feeling most “Grateful” for the simple things around you. (Sunlight etcetera)
Gratitude is a wonderful energizer and joy producer which in turn produces more energy. 🔋 😃
As for comparisons, we are all unique so there is not much point in comparing. There is always going to be someone better than we are at whatever we endeavor to do. Thankfully God sees us as individuals and never compares us with others. (Sigh)!
And, He offers us this kindly counsel at Galatians 6:4 . “But let each one examine his own actions, and then he will have cause for rejoicing in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person.”
That’s a beautiful perspective, Helena!
Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Heléna! You’re so right that gratitude is a wonderful energizer! ☀️
"These scissors are life’s endless mundanities of paying bills, cleaning a house that never quite gets clean, and figuring out what the hell to make for dinner for all these people, again." Gosh, do I feel this. Thank you so much for writing and sharing. Some days it really does beg the questions: What is the point of all of this? Why are we really here?" I know enough now to know that there is magic in the mundane, that even when I feel Jane approaching with her scissors, I just need to give her a hug. Because I do feel so lucky to be here, even if I'm the smallest sprout.
I love seeing how Breeann’s story resonated with you in this specific way, Maria. Thanks for affirming the power of her words here in this comment space.
Thanks so much, Maria. Some days it’s a fight to see the magic underneath the rat race. Yes, Jane needs a hug - I love that imagery! Thanks for your beautiful insights!
I love the creativity here in the way you used Melissa & Jane’s story as a metaphor for these feelings. I think I’ve been feeling a bit like Jane lately, although not really wanting to cut anyone down ☺️
Thank you, Pam! Right, that totally makes sense. I think often I may cut someone down not necessarily outwardly with my words or actions, but with my thoughts towards them or something in their life. I’ve gotten much less likely to be Jane as I get older (thank God for that mercy of aging), but it still crops up from time to time. Thanks for commenting that the post resonated with you. 🫶🏻
There was so much rich symbolism in your story, Breeann!
This is beautifully written, Breeann! Thank you for your honesty and various reflection points that we can connect to! This simple sentence, "But then I take a deep breath." sounds simple but rarely is. But indeed, it is a great reminder to carry on and forward! Thank you Breeann and Jeannie! 💖
So glad you resonated with that line especially, Nancy. Thank you for affirming Breeann and her wonderful writing!
Nancy, thank you so much for reading and commenting! Oh my gosh, I don’t even think *I’ve* internalized that sentence as much as I want to! I’m glad you noticed that sentence. That’s so true it is never as simple as it seems. It is exactly what we all need though. 💜
Thank you for your honesty in sharing this, Breann. I certainly see myself in each of these analogies. Enjoy the sunlight!
Thank you for reading and commenting, Stephanie! Feeling seen is the highest form of praise for a writer, in my opinion. Thanks for being here! 💜
Right now, I am like Jane. I act out in ways because of my own insecurities. Right now, I want to do things that would help me not feel the pain. Yet, right now, I feel the pain and I must bear it so I can understand it, my responses and my fears. I don’t want to cover it over. No I want to be know my pain and how it is in relationship to God. I desire comfort, yet I also desire to embrace my pain, to comfort it.
M Simeon, thank you so much for reading and commenting! This is, like Jeannie said, almost a prayer of sorts. We are all sometimes Jane. We are complex. Thanks for sharing your deep truth. 💜
What a beautiful offering here, M. As I read, it occurred to me that what you shared here is, in itself, a prayer. Thank you for using this space as a sacred place for you to bare your soul.
"Therefore, when I am my grittiest, most determined, and best self, I pick up my cup of water and pour it on my own plant. I do not measure it or compare it to anything else. I simply watch the sunlight stream in, and wait for my own beautiful plant to grow strong again, just like I believe it can." Love this Breean. And the understanding that jealousy, and cutting down others doesnt make our own "plant" grow stronger.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Melanie! So true, yet we are all sometimes acting as Jane and hoping it will make us feel better. But really, it’s the focus on our own plants’ growth that make us feel strong and worthy. Thank you for your insight! 🫶🏻
Thanks for your reflection on Breeann’s story today, Melanie. I am grateful for your presence in my Substack space.