Jeannie, this is a beautiful article. I know you're a great mom and it is this authenticity that you seek that is truly real -- not the airbrushed, plastic people. Why does society determine what is beautiful, anyway? To gain inner happiness, or contentment, we really do need to look within.
I need to remember this -- for myself. I'm a breast cancer survivor who has had major surgeries -- the last one being a 10-hour double mastectomy with reconstruction. The surgeons did a great job, but understandably I have had body image issues. Yet I know that perfection does not exist. I got the surgery to save my life, but I realized that when I was waiting in my plastic surgeon's waiting room, so many people were there for plastic surgery to just plain look good or younger, etc.
Our society does us a disservice when many, many people look outward for what they deem as beautiful, when they should be looking inward. Thank you for another thought-provoking post.
Beth, I really appreciate what you shared here about your experience getting a mastectomy. Sometimes life jolts us into an awareness of something we've forgotten, about what really matters. I'm glad you're here.
Thank you for the beautiful offering of this piece. My son was born with cleft lip and palate. For his almost 18 years, I have worried about bullying around his underbite, his speech articulation and him looking different than his parents because he is Chinese. I am here to report that he does not let anything stand in his way. Next summer is yet another surgery for his jaw. He is a champ and my forever hero son!
Hi Melinda, your son has a great attitude and grit. Good for him! I'm hoping he has good friends who value him for himself.
I adopted my 16-year-old daughter from China when she was 13 months old. I'm white, so she doesn't look like me. At times she's embarrassed because we look different. But all we can do as parents is try our best. While it's easy to say, "Looks don't matter," for too many people, they do.
I wish your son has luck with surgery next summer.
Beth, the fact that you acknowledge your daughter's feelings means you are an incredible parent. I'm so glad you shared this today and also that you offered validation and encouragement to Melinda. That, to me, is what community is about.
Your essay is a powerful reminder that perfection is overrated. In a world obsessed with airbrushed images and unattainable standards, it's easy to forget that true beauty lies in our imperfections. I love how you celebrate the unique qualities of your daughter and friends, and how you've learned to see the beauty in those who are different. It's a lesson we could all learn from.
I'm so grateful to hear that, Alexander! This is exactly my hope in sharing these stories - to help us all look differently at each other and ourselves, with greater compassion and kindness.
"These men and women embrace what life hands them without complaint. They are gracious and kind, accepting and warm. They are the "old souls" we may hear about but never get to know, because they carry a torch of emotional maturity and depth of character that supersedes the typical wealthy, healthy, and physically attractive among us."
So very, very true. And until we finally realise and see it for ourselves, our lives are so much the poorer for it. Wonderfully put; and above all, sweetly balanced in kindness.
I live by something my Mother taught me as a child " Be the Best Version of Yourself that you can be, and you won't go far wrong"! I try very hard to do just that.
Jeanne, I was at hospital earlier today ,(I had read this last night early am today.) I was sitting waiting for the MRI to be ready and a little girl with Downs syndrome sat with her Mother, the mother looked genuinely frazzled as the Little Girl was fidgety etc just like all other children, I started speaking to the girl and her mother froze but soon relaxed, I said to the little one " Why is a big Pretty girl so fidgety ?" She stared at me I don't think she knew what to do or say, so I got my mobile phone out and although I don't play games some of my Grandchildren do, I found the farm game handed her my phone and then she started talking. I got called moments later and said to the mother that I would collect it afterwards when I was ready to leave. And that's what I did, but I waited until the little one went for her scan. All this because of what you wrote above. Bless you for helping me help the little girl.
I am humbled and honored that my article inspired you today, too do a simple act of kindness for a child (and her mother, be assured) with a disability. The sheer fact that you noticed the little girl, stopped to pay attention to her and compliment her speaks volumes of your character.
I am disabled myself, I have to use crutches to get around as I refuse to use a wheelchair, I think being disabled can a person "Bitter" I have met many people of my generation who are very bitter. Or being Disabled can help you see true Beauty and like myself appreciate being alive,rather than bitter. Your words helped me decide to speak to the little girl as normally I would just sit there I have panic attacks when around too many people, I honestly believe that by speaking to the child it helped me probably more than her even though I didn't realise at the time. The waiting room filled up a little with other people and I didn't realise because I was talking to the little one. No panic attack. So she inadvertently helped me. Thank you again Jeannie.
That's more wonderful news. To hear your life perspective- instead of being bitter, finding beauty - inspired me. I guess the biggest blessing is that we can all help each other and uplift each other every day.
The beautiful people in my life are the ones who make my heart smile, who bring me joy in the smallest ways - maybe it's something as simple as a smile.
Sometimes they are the folks who come with rare gifts, grace, a unique sense of humor, or kindness that you don't often find in the general population. Those are my beautiful people.
Jeannie, this is a beautiful article. I know you're a great mom and it is this authenticity that you seek that is truly real -- not the airbrushed, plastic people. Why does society determine what is beautiful, anyway? To gain inner happiness, or contentment, we really do need to look within.
I need to remember this -- for myself. I'm a breast cancer survivor who has had major surgeries -- the last one being a 10-hour double mastectomy with reconstruction. The surgeons did a great job, but understandably I have had body image issues. Yet I know that perfection does not exist. I got the surgery to save my life, but I realized that when I was waiting in my plastic surgeon's waiting room, so many people were there for plastic surgery to just plain look good or younger, etc.
Our society does us a disservice when many, many people look outward for what they deem as beautiful, when they should be looking inward. Thank you for another thought-provoking post.
Beth, I really appreciate what you shared here about your experience getting a mastectomy. Sometimes life jolts us into an awareness of something we've forgotten, about what really matters. I'm glad you're here.
Thank you for the beautiful offering of this piece. My son was born with cleft lip and palate. For his almost 18 years, I have worried about bullying around his underbite, his speech articulation and him looking different than his parents because he is Chinese. I am here to report that he does not let anything stand in his way. Next summer is yet another surgery for his jaw. He is a champ and my forever hero son!
That is so encouraging to hear, Melinda!
Hi Melinda, your son has a great attitude and grit. Good for him! I'm hoping he has good friends who value him for himself.
I adopted my 16-year-old daughter from China when she was 13 months old. I'm white, so she doesn't look like me. At times she's embarrassed because we look different. But all we can do as parents is try our best. While it's easy to say, "Looks don't matter," for too many people, they do.
I wish your son has luck with surgery next summer.
Beth, the fact that you acknowledge your daughter's feelings means you are an incredible parent. I'm so glad you shared this today and also that you offered validation and encouragement to Melinda. That, to me, is what community is about.
Your essay is a powerful reminder that perfection is overrated. In a world obsessed with airbrushed images and unattainable standards, it's easy to forget that true beauty lies in our imperfections. I love how you celebrate the unique qualities of your daughter and friends, and how you've learned to see the beauty in those who are different. It's a lesson we could all learn from.
I'm so grateful to hear that, Alexander! This is exactly my hope in sharing these stories - to help us all look differently at each other and ourselves, with greater compassion and kindness.
Thank you for sharing this article from the archives! Children's Craniofacial Association is a fantastic organization. They do good work. 🫶
So glad we found each other on here, Maggie!
I am, too! 💝
"These men and women embrace what life hands them without complaint. They are gracious and kind, accepting and warm. They are the "old souls" we may hear about but never get to know, because they carry a torch of emotional maturity and depth of character that supersedes the typical wealthy, healthy, and physically attractive among us."
So very, very true. And until we finally realise and see it for ourselves, our lives are so much the poorer for it. Wonderfully put; and above all, sweetly balanced in kindness.
Thank you, Terry.
I live by something my Mother taught me as a child " Be the Best Version of Yourself that you can be, and you won't go far wrong"! I try very hard to do just that.
That's a great motto to live by!
My Mother was a really lovely lady. A mischievous "Hippy" who loved life .
Jeanne, I was at hospital earlier today ,(I had read this last night early am today.) I was sitting waiting for the MRI to be ready and a little girl with Downs syndrome sat with her Mother, the mother looked genuinely frazzled as the Little Girl was fidgety etc just like all other children, I started speaking to the girl and her mother froze but soon relaxed, I said to the little one " Why is a big Pretty girl so fidgety ?" She stared at me I don't think she knew what to do or say, so I got my mobile phone out and although I don't play games some of my Grandchildren do, I found the farm game handed her my phone and then she started talking. I got called moments later and said to the mother that I would collect it afterwards when I was ready to leave. And that's what I did, but I waited until the little one went for her scan. All this because of what you wrote above. Bless you for helping me help the little girl.
I am humbled and honored that my article inspired you today, too do a simple act of kindness for a child (and her mother, be assured) with a disability. The sheer fact that you noticed the little girl, stopped to pay attention to her and compliment her speaks volumes of your character.
You just sprinkled kindness everywhere today!
I am disabled myself, I have to use crutches to get around as I refuse to use a wheelchair, I think being disabled can a person "Bitter" I have met many people of my generation who are very bitter. Or being Disabled can help you see true Beauty and like myself appreciate being alive,rather than bitter. Your words helped me decide to speak to the little girl as normally I would just sit there I have panic attacks when around too many people, I honestly believe that by speaking to the child it helped me probably more than her even though I didn't realise at the time. The waiting room filled up a little with other people and I didn't realise because I was talking to the little one. No panic attack. So she inadvertently helped me. Thank you again Jeannie.
That's more wonderful news. To hear your life perspective- instead of being bitter, finding beauty - inspired me. I guess the biggest blessing is that we can all help each other and uplift each other every day.
The beautiful people in my life are the ones who make my heart smile, who bring me joy in the smallest ways - maybe it's something as simple as a smile.
Sometimes they are the folks who come with rare gifts, grace, a unique sense of humor, or kindness that you don't often find in the general population. Those are my beautiful people.
I'm so glad you answered the question, Doreen! I love your response. I agree that sometimes simple things, like a smile, make a huge impact.